Mille Plateaux 81 Asuka 2
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サイレント ノイズ ・アスカ

スイスから来ているアスカは、今年で二年目だ。
彼女は今年グループ即興の中で、
いつももっとも面白い動きを見つけてそれにフォローすることで、
新しい群れの動きを生み出し即興全体をダイナミックに展開していくコツをつかんだ。
即興で動きながらいつも冷静なまなざしで全体をみている
もうひとつの透明なまなざしを開くことでそれが可能になる。
この作品の実験で彼女はその経験を生かし、ひとつのゲームのルールを編み出した。
生徒全員のコスチュームを町で拾ってきたガラクタやブリキ、針金などで作った。
まるで歩く楽器のようなコスチュームだが、
決して音を当ててはならないというルールとともにそれを与えた。
そして、ひとりひとりに順番にひとつの限られた動きをするよう役割を与えた。
そして、それ以外のときはただほかの人の動きにつき従うだけというものだ。
たったそれだけのシンプルなルールだが、
それを実行すると、音を立てないように自分に与えられたわずかな動きをするにも
自然に衰弱体の動きになる。
そして全員がそれにつき従うから全体が衰弱体の群れになる。
かすかな音をも立てないように気を配って歩いていても多くのものをぶら下げているから
やむなく音が出てしまう。
その悲しい悲鳴のような音は限りなく美しいものだった。

それに引き換え、ソロのパートを創るのは難航した。
4ヶ月のからだの闇探索で出会ったすべてのサブボディを統合しようとするのだが、
その過程で出くわしたもろもろのエッジに再び直面しなければならなかったからだ。
実は彼女は5月ごろ、大きなエッジに出会って身動きができなくなってしばらく休んだ。
彼女が出てきた日にエッジワークを行った。
その体験でつかんだものを彼女は下記の文章と図で表してくれた。
真率な態度でそれを受け止めてくれたことが伝わってくる。
エッジワークを行うときは私自身も大きなエッジにぶつかる。
生徒に自分のもっとも不快な体感に真向かうよう仕向けるのはつらいものだ。
だが、あえてやってよかったのだと救われた

ひとたびエッジに直面することの豊かさを知った者は生涯それを忘れることがない。
そここそが尽きせぬ命の創造の泉だからだ。
アスカ、これからも永遠に旅を続けてくれ。
そしてかならずまたヒマラヤに戻っておいで。



アスカのフォトスライドショーを見る

エッジワークについて詳しく読む

エッジワークについてミンデルから学ぶ



My biggest teaching / Asuka

 

When I faced my unknown edge, I faced a deep pressure feeling in my chest:

pain, cannot breathe, cannot speak, need to cry. It was going on for more than a week already.


(edge1 picture)

I definitely didn't wan't to deal with it.. I felt so annoyed when you proposed edge work exercises.

It was so bad, I couldn't figure out what it was or why is this was happening to me.

I thought, if it's just anguish, it will pass, then it's no use to do anything about it, otherwise I'll just feed it...

and I don't want to make things worse..

However, with all the aversion I had, I slowly followed your propositions..

 

Suddently, I realised it was me pressing me : My self was struggling and oppressing me.

I watched and asked silently: ¨ Why are you doing this to me? Why do you want to kill me ? ¨

It answered that we were having a war, and I was divided because of paradoxe.

I wanted one thing and its opposite, to be one thing and the opposite,

so the other me was embodying my opposite.

Because I had been suppressing it, also it was suppressing me.

But I realised..

we cannot live without each other. Whatever happens, we must continue to live together

Me and my opposite,

We converse..

We must take care of each other, otherwise no one can live,

it is a matter of surviving.

 

Together, reunited, we can be All.

Everything that seems outside, isn't separate.

We are One.

Everytime I deny something, hate, or suppress something,

I am denying a part of the whole.

Each time I forgive and reconcile myself with something that seems outside of me,

I forgive and reconcile myself with a part of me..

and now, this is my work..

 

In order to survive..

To recognise everything as oneness..

Not to dissociate myself with what is around..

this is also how I am erased..

There is no such thing as individuation.

Most of all, to find Balance, because Balance is a universal law..

And to be able to see with the eyes of the opposite is

the key to finding Balance.

This drawing emerged then.

The white human as myself as I consciously know myself,

all that seems stable,material, that I perceive as reality,

 all that I accept as a world, self image, identity..

The dark human as my unconscious side,

all that is unstable, immaterial, unknown world,

all unaccepted aspects or repressed self,

shadow..

 

Inspired by the ying and yang symbol of balance,

I found out a way to move beyond the edge of the moment,

I traded eyes with my opposite,

saw myself, erased my mind,

understood, and let go..

 

This was perhaps the biggest freeing feeling of my life...

I wish to apply it all along.

 

Thank you Lee, for pushing us to face our edge.




Afterthought / Asuka

 

A part of my afterthought is a secret now, that I cannot share.

Another is a quite important realisation, that I missed the point of the experiment; because I failed, in a way, to dance my deepest teaching of this semester.

 

     My mind wanted to go way too crazy for me the past weeks, restless nights of dreaming I was running about, through amazing adventures, trying to escape strange worlds with a group of people. Out of school, I escaped my mind by working with my hands, spending a lot of time making things, costumes, props, etc..    

     I wasn't ready, couldn't figure out what I was going to dance, feeling I had nothing. I wanted to dance the constellation of the moment, just simply dance anything.. but at the same time, I was trying so hard to make some integrating solo of all the subbodies I encountered, cutting and pasting, to create some kind of virtual constellation..

Until the last minute, pulled between this and that, I eventually got extenuated.

 

    Now I know I wasted too much energy, I was very tense. I should have meditated, conditionned and calmed down more, more.  The fact is that constellations might continuously change, at this stage of my life... and in the end, don't we always end up dancing the true moment anyways ?

   Somehow, this time, I couldn't sink as deep as possible throughout the whole experiment.

 

    I am happy about the cobody experience, even though it didn't totally work at all.  

...

    It is quite funny, looking back, but on many occasions, I had to face inner rising frustration or find a new way out.

 

    It seemed to reflect my whole life story.. projecting visions of what I expect to happen and then it happens, or not at all, and that's when life needs to create a new way, another way out.

 

    Anyways, the journey continues, the hardest is still to apply what I learnt, to break my bad habits. I will continue as my life decides....

 

thank you Lee

 

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