Three and a half weeks of subbody.....my first impressions were of relief,
relief to be dancing again, relief to be able to explore, to be as intense or as
gentle as I like.....but then slowly, as my habitual dancing body got gently,
but firmly (thanks Lee!), sloughed down I realised I was actually in a very
precarious place. A place where I constantly had to meet myself and let me go,
let something else in, let it go, not attach but still experience fully, be
sensitive to deep impulse and give value to it by expressing it, but not to try
and find 'me' within it. Letting me fracture so as to encapsulate all of the
alien, animal, foetal and otherworldly possibilities that also exist within the
selfcontained, everyday me (to use some of Lee's words). Actually, these other
manifestations are constantly spilling over my edges to slight degree, but the
experience of really trying to open yourself to the subbody, to let it take over
without completely washing you away for me was both confronting and liberating.
And sometimes more than a little bit frightening! Maybe for the audience as
well!
Maybe I only acheived really being in the subbody 'zone' a few times, I
don't really know. I think it was in the middle of week 3 that I first really
felt my subbody, it wanted to speak and I kept silencing it by dancing on top of
it, dancing it into the ground. So just learning to be quiet and finally hearing
the voice of my subbody was one of the most valuable things I gained. Also
learning to spend long stretches alone with the subbody, building a relationship
with it. And receiving Lee's teachings on the eight channel method and Jo Ha
Kyu, being provided with (apart from the discoveries and inherent wisdom in
them) such strong points of reference for giving shape and guidence to
improvisations is a method that I will continue to use into the future.
Thanks to Lee and all the participants for creating such a safe, supportive
and nurturing space, it was so wonderful to feel so safe to explore such unknown
places. And to get to dance, snarl, giggle, spit and scratch with you guys. Miss
that hot tub. See you again
Natalie O'Connor
Natalie's subbody art
Crick for opening subbody art gallery
